The Dream
by OldMondlerLover
Summary: This is a "Friends" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" crossover my daughter and I created together during a "girls day" afternoon. I hope you like the little bit of silliness we wrote in our first fanfiction effort together. :) Enjoy!


"Erika? Jack? Bedtime," Chandler said as he came into the great room. Then he sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "Seriously, guys, enough with the turtles already!"

His 8-year-old twins didn't even look up from the TV.

"Hey," he said, hands on his hips. "Bedtime!"

"OK, OK," Jack huffed, hitting the power button the remote. "Geez."

"Jack…" Chandler warned.

"Sorry," Jack said, pointing at the dark TV. "TNMT is just the coolest show ever."

"Yeah," Erika said with a smile on her face, "and Leo is so dreamy."

"Eck," Jack said with a disgusted face.

"Who's Leo?" Monica asked, peeking into room while she wiped her hands on a dish towel.

"He's a TMNT," Jack replied, with an eyeroll to match his father's.

"OK," Chandler finally asked, exasperated. "I give up, what's a TMNT?"

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle," the twins said in unison.

"Ah, should have known," Monica replied with a nod, then she gestured toward the stairs. "Up ya go."

Once the twins were upstairs and out of earshot Chandler turned to his wife.

"I swear all they do is watch that show," he said, shaking his head. "I swear I hear the theme song in my dreams."

Monica giggled.

"I know, I know," she said. "It is a pretty decent show though, ya know."

"Really?" he said, doubtful expression on his face.

"Yeah," she said, poking him playfully in the ribs. "Might not be a bad idea for you to check out what your kids are watching every once in awhile."

"'It might not be a bad idea to check out what your kids are watching...blah, blah, blah,'" he mimicked. "So what are they, like, turtle boys or something?"

"Yeah, they were turtles that became human through some sort of science experiment or, I don't know, something like that."

"Do they have superpowers?" Chandler asked, excitedly.

"I, no," she contemplated. "Well, I don't think so. We'll have to ask the kids."

"Dear God, I never thought this would be a conversation we would be having," he said in disbelief. "I mean, ever."

She gave him a glare.

"There was a time I never thought I'd have a conversation with Santa Claus and a Holiday Armadillo, but you never know."

Chandler grinned and nodded. "True."

"Come on, let's go get them settled," she said with a yawn as she started to head upstairs. "I'm beat."

"Yeah," Chandler said, following behind her. "The sooner I get to bed the sooner I can start dreaming about turtles."

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…" Monica started to sing.

"Mon, for the love of God…" Chandler warned. His wife giggled as they walked down the hall to their twins bedrooms.

###

Chandler woke up in a dark alleyway. He felt kind of dazed. He looked around, black spots danced in his vision. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to wake himself up.

"Monica?" He called. "Erika, Jack?

Chandler waited for a response. He didn't get one.

"This isn't funny, guys!" he called back.

"Chandler!" a familiar voice called back. It was Joey.

"Joey," he called back. "Is this a prank?"

Joey suddenly came out of the shadows. Chandler couldn't believe his eyes. What stood before him was a figure that was had dark brown hair-like Joey's, and was green and had a shell.

Chandler screamed.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Y-You're a.." Chandler stuttered. "You're a-turtle!"

"What?!" Joey shrieked. He looked down at himself and saw that his skin was green and he had a plastron.

"Noooooo!" He screamed. "My face! My beautiful face! Girls don't like big, green, ugly turtle things! Noooooooooo…"

"Erika does," Chandler said, rolling his eyes.

Then they heard another scream. This time, it sounded like a woman screaming.

"Wha-What happened to me?!" it sounded like Monica.

Chandler and Joey followed the sound, and found Monica sitting on the steps of a fire escape. She was a turtle as well. She screamed when she saw Joey and Chandler come over to her. Chandler sat down next to Monica on one of the steps, trying to comfort his wife.

"Monica, it's me.." Chandler said reassuringly.

"B-But y-you're a turtle!" she cried.

Chandler was shocked. He looked down at his hands-which were now green. He looked at his back, and saw that there was a shell covering it.

"I-I'm a turtle!." he said. "I can't live like this! It's like my worst nightmare come true!"

"Hey, guys!" another familiar voice called.

They looked up. There was Phoebe, looking down at them from the apartment balcony. She was a turtle as well. She seemed to be happy, though.

"Why are all you guys dressed as turtles?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Hey, don't talk down to me!" Joey said defiantly. They all heard a noise from inside the apartment, and Chandler realized at that moment they were all standing on the balcony at their old apartment.

"Is that... Rachel?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, she's in the bathroom," Phoebe said. "She's been in there for hours, screaming and saying she's turned into a freak." she shrugged her shoulders. "Hey!" she said. "I saw four weird green men on the top of that old abandoned church! They might know what's going on! Wanna go follow them?"

"This doesn't sound like a good idea..." Chandler warned.

"Come on," she insisted. "It'll be fun!"

Joey shrugged his shoulders and climbed up the ladder of the fire escape. Monica and Phoebe followed him. A few seconds later, Chandler climbed up the ladder and reluctantly followed the others.

####

"Hi," came a familiar sound from an unfamiliar creature on top of the building's roof.

"Ross?" Monica said, blinking her big, blue turtle eyes at him. "Is that you?"

"Monica?" Ross said looking from his sister to his friends. "What has happened to us?"

"I'm not sure," she said, still in a state of disbelief herself. "Somehow, we've turned into...into turtles!"

"I can see that," Ross squeaked out. "But...how?! Why?!"

There were shrugs and mumbled "i don't knows" all around.

"You're the scientist guy," Joey said, pointing a green finger at him. "Can't you figure it out?"

Ross shook his head. "I'm as confused as you are."

"Apparently we're thinking those other green turtle figures on the roof of that abandoned church over there are going to solve the mystery," Chandler said, gesturing across the street. "How, I don't know, but…"

"Come on, turtles!" Phoebe interjected, clearly getting into the turtle role as she moved to the edge of the rooftop. "We're wasting precious time!"

Joey bumped Chandler's shoulder and he turned to look at his friend, still taken aback by his appearance.

"Hey," Joey asked. "So, do we have superpowers now?"

Chandler rolled his eyes, trying not to panic. They'd all turned into turtles and were on a roof in the dead of night, preparing to go talk to other creatures with the same affliction and no one else seemed to be too worried. Here Joey was, wondering if they had superpowers.

"I don't know!" Chandler exclaimed. "Wait, or do I? Mon?"

"Yeah?" she said, turning to him. She stared at her turtle-husband a moment and gave him a little smile.

"I can't remember," he said, "do human-turtle people have superpowers?"

"I don't think so," she said, coming over to hold his hand in hers and rub his shoulder. Chandler grinned at her.

"What?"

"I see why Erika has a thing for Leo," she said with a playful grin. "You look cute in green."

Chandler smiled down at her, wondering if his green face was as red as it felt.

"Oh my God, stop," Ross said. "We're in the middle of the most confusing moment of our lives and your two are being all...all…"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Come on! We gotta get to that roof before they leave!"

She pointed to the four other turtle figures walking along the church roof.

"OK!" Joey said, stepping back and taking a running leap off their roof.

"Joe!" Chandler hollered after him, but Joey landed safely on the rooftop next to them, heading in the direction of the church.

"Hey, whatta know!" Joey said. "We do have superpowers. Come on!"

###

Leo was about to climb through the window of the lair to watch Shredder and his gang from the ledge, where he couldn't be seen. Raph grabbed Leo's arm and pulled him up.

"Look!" he said, pointing to Phoebe, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Joey.

"Holy chalupa!" Mikey exclaimed. "More turtles?"

"Only one way to find out," Leo said, unsheathing one of his katanas.

The five friends came closer, until they were on the opposite side of the church building as the turtles.

"Who are you?" Leo demanded, pointing his katana at them.

"What happened to you?" Phoebe asked.

"What happened to _you?"_ Raph asked, taking out his Sai.

"Are you gonna kill us or what?" Joey asked nervously, gesturing to Leo's katana.

"Sorry," Leo said, lowering his katana. "We thought you were working for the Shredder."

"Who's the Shredder?" Chandler asked.

"Big scary evil dude, lots of blades, wants to kill us," Mikey said.

"In other words, a dangerous assassin who is trying to hunt us down and destroy us," Donnie explained, a fake smile on his face.

"There is no way this is really happening," Ross said. "Giant talking humanoid turtles who are ninjas, it isn't scientifically possible!" Then he looks at Donnie and says, "And you, 'Gappy.' Why do ya sound so weird?"

"I sound weird?!" Donnie shrieked. "Heard yourself lately?" he pointed to Ross.

"Okay guys, break it up," Leo barked. 'We're on a serious mission."

"Ooh, what kind of mission?" Phoebe asked excitedly.

"A stealth mission," Leo whispered. "Which mean we have to be SILENT and stay in the shadows, so could you be quiet, please?"

"Geez, Monica," Phoebe whispered to Monica. "Your daughter's boyfriend sure is feisty."

"Leo thinks he's the boss," Raph said.

Leo glared at Raph.

"I AM the boss."

"Whatever you say, chief.." Raph grumbled.

Leo opened the window, and climbed inside. His brothers followed him.

"You guys stay here 'till we get back, alright?" Mikey said, looking at the five friends. They all nodded.

'Cool," Mikey said, and without another word, he slipped through the window, closing it behind him, out of sight. There was a slip of paper that he left for them. They watched it as if fluttered to the ground. Chandler bent over and picked it up. He read it out loud,

"If you wanna hang out sometime, just go down the manhole cover by Second and Blecher. Go through the third tunnel to your left. There, you'll find abandoned subway cars and a station. Just go through the gateway to enter the station, and there it is. -Mikey"

"I always wanted a secret hangout," Phoebe said wistfully.

"Eww," Monica shuddered. "They live in the sewers? Gross!"

"Only one way to find out," Joey said. "Let's go."

###

"Is this the right place?" Ross said, glancing around.

"Well, it was the right manhole cover," Phoebe said.

"Oh, man, this is disgusting," Monica said, a pale green hue coming over her face as she picked up an empty pizza box from the ground and placed it on a makeshift table in the lair. Joey leaned over to her.

"Any pizza left in that box?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Dude! Gross!" Ross said. "We are in the middle of a sewer and you are thinking about _food_?"

"I'm hungry, man!" Joey whined as Monica started to tidy up the rest of the strewn garbage in the hangout.

"Do not tell me you thinking of cleaning this place up!" He looked at his wife in disbelief.

"Chandler," she said, picking up disregarded paper plates. "Just because they are turtles doesn't mean they have to live like pigs."

Chandler just stared at her, then looked at the rest of his friends casually sitting down on the furniture. Phoebe turned on a TV.

"Have you all lost your minds?" he finally shouted. "Did you not hear the big turtle-men? They have people after them trying to _kill them_ and we are hanging out in their lair and oh, oh, we too are _turtles_. Hello?!"

"Chandler, will ya calm down," Joey said, motioning him out of the way. You're blocking the TV!"

"Hey, Space Heroes!" Ross said, settling in next to Joey as Phoebe turned up the volume on the TV.

Chandler walked over to Monica, who was still picking up after the turtles.

"We should be figuring out how to get out of this mess," he said.

"Um, if you'd help me clean," she said, a little aggravated with him.

"Not this mess," he hissed, pointing around the lair. "This mess!" he said, gesturing to himself.

"Honey," she said, trying her best to be calm. "I know this is troubling, but I don't see what we can do about it right now. We just have to wait for the other turtles to come back."

Just then a noise that sounded like the manhole cover being moved echoed above them and light from a streetlamp illuminated the turtles' home."

"Oh, boy!" Phoebe said, glancing in the direction of the sound with a smile on her green face. "I think they're back!"

Leo, Donnie, Raph, and Mikey entered the lair, carrying a metal container.

"We found it!" Donnie exclaimed.

"Found what?" Joey asked. "More pizza?" his mouth was watering.

"No, dude," Mikey said. "Retro mutagen! The stuff that can turn you guys human!"

"Yes!" Monica said, dropping the bag of garbage, punching the air with her fists. Some of the garbage fell out of the bag.

"Aww," Phoebe whined. "I kinda liked being a turtle.."

"I still want my superpowers!" Joey griped, crossing his arms.

"Or not.." Donnie says, walking to the lab.

"No, wait!" Monica says. "We want to be human again. Right, guys?" she said, looking at them.

All four of them nodded reluctantly.

"Okay," Donnie said brightly. "Hold still. We have to throw this stuff on you to make you turn human again." Donnie reached into the metal case, and pulled out a slender tube with a strange orange substance in it: the retro mutagen.

"OK," he said. "Hold still and cover your eyes."

"No, hey wait!" Chandler said in a panic. "Are you sure?!"

But, it was too late, Donnie chucked the canister of retro mutagen at the five friends. The glass shattered, covering them in the orange substance…

###

"Chandler?!" Monica yelled. "Chandler! Wake up."

"No, no, not orange," her husband shouted, still asleep. "Noooo…"

Monica shook him.

"Wha...what? What?" Chandler said as he shot up in their bed, his eyes wild.

"Honey," Monica said, patting him soothingly on the back. "Honey, you were having a dream. A pretty bad one, I think."

Chandler looked over at his wife, eyes wide as they adjusted in the darkness the room. He let out a little yelp and grabbed her to him.

"Oh, thank God," he said, sighing into her hair as he held her close.

"What? Chandler?" she said, confused and holding him just as tightly.

"Thank God you're not green," he sighed heavily.

"Green?" she asked with a little giggle as he loosened his hold on her "Why would I be green?!"

"You were a turtle a...a…"

"A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?" she asked, a wide smile on her face.

"Yeah," he went on animatedly. "And, Ross, Joey and Phoebe were there. Rachel was screaming in the bathroom. We were all turtles and...and we were in their place their...their…"

"Lair?" Monica asked, a bemused look on her face.

"Yes!" he said, "and someone was trying to kill them...someone…"

"Shredder?"

"Yes!" Chandler said, a look of surprise on his face. "How do you know all that? Did you have the same dream?!"

"No," Monica said,rolling her eyes. "I've seen the show. Maybe if you watched what your children are watching every once in awhile…"

"No, God no!" Chandler said, shaking his head fiercely. "I am never watching that show, ever. I may ban it from this house."

"Oh, that'll break Erika's heart, ya know, if she doesn't get to see her Leo," Monica smirked at him.

Chandler took a deep breath, calming down since he now knew it was all just a dream. He smirked back at her.

"Say," he said with a teasing grin. "How do you think I look in green?"

Monica shook her head and gave him a quick kiss.

"Go back to sleep, sweetie," she said as she laid back down. He laid down, too, with a grin on his face, which turned into a frown and a glare in her direction when he heard her humming then singing softly, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…."

"Mon…" he warned. She giggled and turned to him, laying her head on his chest.

"You look cute in green," she whispered and Chandler grinned again as they fell back to sleep.

 _ **NOTE: So my 12-year-old, who has crushed on Turtle Leo for a while now, wrote all the "turtle" scenes. Decent first effort, I'd say! A great way to spend our "girls day" afternoon. :) Review if you can, she'd get a kick out of it! Thanks in advance!**_


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